Whod you bang
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
