I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
