Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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