thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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