we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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