my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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