i just had sex bonerless
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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