I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
