i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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