This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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