Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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