I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
