You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize