I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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