I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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