After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
