that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just high enough for therapy.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
