College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
