Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
