things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize