bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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