I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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