True but thats because hes a fetus.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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