i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
