If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
