we're blogging at a bar
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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