Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she woke up with a sticky ear
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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