Are we in a gay sports bar?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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