This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
