they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
