We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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