Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
