I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
