yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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