Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
