So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
