I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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