How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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