My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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