Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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