Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You can't motorboat a personality
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Randomize
