LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
