We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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