one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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