that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
