You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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