i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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