Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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