It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
