That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
