First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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