She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
