theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
