Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
