Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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