Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
