hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
