This girl is more easily done than said...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize