Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
organizing the empties. That sober.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
