he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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