she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
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