when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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