oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
